I hear lots of complaints about how tough it is to find a partner. Many of my clients turn to their phones or the Internet, believing it’s the best place to meet singles — not a surprising assumption, considering that 18 percent of American adults have used an online dating app or website. But they continually express disappointment, frustration and hopelessness about the process. Only a few have found significant others online, even after months or years of trying.
How can you improve your chances of finding a partner online without burning out? Here are some strategies that could help, based on psychological science and my therapy work:
Figure out your motives for online dating and be honest about them
Be yourself
It’s natural to want to present yourself in the best possible light. But when you start to hide traits and interests that you fear would be perceived negatively, you sabotage your chances of successful online dating.
Limit time spent on apps and the number of people you correspond with at any given time
If you are not getting enough good matches, relax your criteria and initiate contact.